Better Than This

hands shaking, heart breaking

as i hang up the phone.

you deserved better than this.

breath shallow, feels like i’m heading to the gallows

as i drive to the hospital.

you deserved better than this.

waiting, every second i’m hating

as i listen to the doctor’s bad news.

you deserved better than this.

eyes weeping, anger creeping

as i watch you get lowered into the ground.

you deserved better than this.

long nights, fighting for what’s right

as the lawyer looks at me with pity.

you deserved better than this.

head spinning, patience thinning

as i watch him enter the courtroom.

you deserved better than this.

all sleep destroyed, i’m suddenly void

as i hear him admit to texting and driving.

you deserved better than this.

thinking about him makes me cold, but it’s your memory i hold

as i let my heartache grow into resentment and anger.

you deserved better than this.

a few years later, i have a new neighbor

it’s him. out of jail.

you deserved better than this.

weeks pass, i relapse

then i remember.

you deserved better than this.

inhale, about to bail

as i walk across the street.

because you deserved better than this.

ring the bell, this is hell

as he opens the door.

and i keep in mind: you deserved better than that.

step inside, put aside my pride

as he talks about how the guilt has been eating him alive.

because he knows that you deserved better than that.

“never again” he claims, i feel a little shame

as he is a good man and he regrets his actions.

we know you deserved better.

he wants to take a stand, against what he manned

as he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else, ever again.

because everyone deserves better.

his name is jack, and i decide to go back

as we learn more about each other

i realize he deserved better than that.

i don’t want our conversations to end, he has become my friend

as i better understand his pain, i realize i’m ready to move on.

you deserved better than that. he deserved better than that.

so my new friend and i share a smile, the first real one in awhile.

because can you really live without learning to forgive?