Better Than This
Lily Y
hands shaking, heart breaking
as i hang up the phone.
you deserved better than this.
breath shallow, feels like i’m heading to the gallows
as i drive to the hospital.
you deserved better than this.
waiting, every second i’m hating
as i listen to the doctor’s bad news.
you deserved better than this.
eyes weeping, anger creeping
as i watch you get lowered into the ground.
you deserved better than this.
long nights, fighting for what’s right
as the lawyer looks at me with pity.
you deserved better than this.
head spinning, patience thinning
as i watch him enter the courtroom.
you deserved better than this.
all sleep destroyed, i’m suddenly void
as i hear him admit to texting and driving.
you deserved better than this.
thinking about him makes me cold, but it’s your memory i hold
as i let my heartache grow into resentment and anger.
you deserved better than this.
a few years later, i have a new neighbor
it’s him. out of jail.
you deserved better than this.
weeks pass, i relapse
then i remember.
you deserved better than this.
inhale, about to bail
as i walk across the street.
because you deserved better than this.
ring the bell, this is hell
as he opens the door.
and i keep in mind: you deserved better than that.
step inside, put aside my pride
as he talks about how the guilt has been eating him alive.
because he knows that you deserved better than that.
“never again” he claims, i feel a little shame
as he is a good man and he regrets his actions.
we know you deserved better.
he wants to take a stand, against what he manned
as he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else, ever again.
because everyone deserves better.
his name is jack, and i decide to go back
as we learn more about each other
i realize he deserved better than that.
i don’t want our conversations to end, he has become my friend
as i better understand his pain, i realize i’m ready to move on.
you deserved better than that. he deserved better than that.
so my new friend and i share a smile, the first real one in awhile.
because can you really live without learning to forgive?
Description
This is a fictional poem about someone getting killed in an accident because of a distracted driver. I have always heard and seen stories of people growing so angry and resentful after they lose a loved one, so I wanted to share a different perspective and challenge the norms a bit with this. I wanted people to realize how the survivors must feel after such an astounding loss. I believe forgiveness is such a beautiful and a very necessary process everyone has to go through at some point in time. Usually, people don’t have to forgive for something so tragic, but I wanted to share this perspective to show how freeing forgiveness can be and to help people who may have been at fault understand that they are not alone.