Inner Cowboy

Dylan A

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Have you ever woken up, looked at your phone, and known that you were not going to catch a break all day? You’re still half dreaming, and already there are alerts and information and things that need responding to, colorful buttons glaring with obscene cheerfulness at you with reminders of obligations of all kinds, diversions of all stripes, everything worthy of your attention, all of it completely urgent, the whole thing is totally– Hey now. Hello? Who’s there? I’m the calm voice of reason in the back of your head. And I have a deep, wise cowboy voice. Whoa. You really do. I’m here to tell you that, while I may not fully understand this obsession you have with that little gadget there, I do know a little something about the ways of the road. How did you know I was about to start driving? You’re sitting in your driveway with your keys in the ignition. Pay attention, now. Nothing that beeps or whines or buzzes in your pocket is worth more than the attention you pay to that there road. There are lives at stake when you start to move this thing (which is basically a missile that you sit in, for gosh sakes) next to other people doing the same thing! You owe it to yourself and to every other fellow traveler on this dusty old trail not to knock your weird rolling missiles into one another, I reckon. When you get where you’re going, your phone will still be beeping and buzzing and carrying on like before, I promise. So that’s it. I want you to say it with me, so you remember: the road is what matters. Focus on the road. Ready? The road is what matters. Focus on the road. Again. The road is what matters. Focus on the road. … The road is what matters. Focus on the road. Whew. I think I can do it. Thanks, inner cowboy!