That’s Not Real…

Dana S

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Oh my Lord, I’m so tired of seeing those ads! They’re actually everywhere! Bit of an overkill, don’t you think? I mean, nobody actually wrecks from driving distracted, right? That’s just a myth to scare people, I mean I’ve never had an accident! Then again…I guess my friend did rear-end that guy at the red light…I told her to stop texting me lol. He was so mad, his face was all red and…it was kinda funny. Bad, obviously, but…also…kinda funny… And there was my uncle who almost flipped his car (like action-movie flip!) playing with the radio. My aunt was so mad! Then again, it’s not like their daughter’s any better, playing with her makeup in the mirror constantly. I don’t even know where she keeps it when she’s not using it, it’s always just there! I swear she does it so often she must have a sixth sense when she drives! Except for that one time she missed the turn on the hill at Grandma’s…but that was a just coincidence, everybody wrecks at some point! And that turn is practically invisible. Ugh, why am I even still thinking about this, obviously everyone’s gonna crash at some point, it’s not their fault it happens to be when they’re trying to do something else! How much farther do I have to go? Oh good, just across this crosswalk, and down like…one more block. I’ll even be a bit early! Ha, I finally won’t have to hear about how I’m ALWAYS late! Why is this light taking so long?! Oh good, there’s the little green-walking-man. I wonder what movie we’ll… *Bright Lights*…Oof! Why are the lights so bright? Why is my head killing me? I didn’t get drunk last night, did I? Wait, no I was on the way to the movies…then…what happened? Ugh, my leg hurts. Everything is so white…where am I? It looks like…a hospital? Wait, my leg is cast? What the heck? Oh, mom! Maybe she can explain what the heck is happening!…. But that makes no sense. Hit by a car? The driver wasn’t paying attention? He was eating a hamburger?! So now my leg’s broken and I have a concussion? Because someone eating a hamburger hit me at the crosswalk?! Who eats and drives?! That’s ridiculous! Dang it, now I’m late again! They’re never gonna let this go now! But, it’s not my fault! Who on earth eats and drives? That’s just dumb! How are you supposed to steer? Or see actually? Didn’t he see those ridiculous signs?