It Could Have Waited…

Michelle Z

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Dear Chlobug518, It was me. One look into your mom’s dreadful eyes and I knew – I’ve known those eyes since we were eight. They kept us from watching those scary movies we’ve always wanted to watch, From that trip we would have to miss, that concert we would have to wait later to see. We did everything together. I call it fate when Mrs. Webber assigned us as penpals in the second grade. She didn’t know we’d be inseparable, that we lived next door to each other, That in high school we would grow up braiding each others hair in homeroom, Talk about that boy (that we couldn’t get to look our way) during lunch, And conspire about the details of our future weddings in the bus on the way home. I knew you like no other. That airplanes made you nervous, Pinterest made you hungry, books made you cry, What our future kids were going to be named, What your phone number was, And that an incoming text from me went to the tune of Kim Possible. Which is why I know that Kim and I were the reason you looked away. You tried, but failed to answer me. I knew that you were really tired and were driving back from a victorious game. That your hard work paid off when you got an offer from a long day of college scouting, That it was the best day of your life before you saw my text of congratulations. I saw those three little dots come and go in seconds. But that’s all it took. Your mom tried to keep it from me but I knew. I saw her as the officer that gave her the news walked away. The painful cry she was stifling as she came to hug me. And her watering eyes as she mouthed your name. You were gone. Chloe, my text meant nothing next to your life. I’m sorry I made you the 1 in 4000. I’m sorry I made you the 1 of 4. But most of all, I’m just sorry.