I Didn’t Stop Him!

Donald M

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I really hate talking to shrinks about my feelings. They always ask me, “how do you feel?”, or “does this effect your emotional state in some way?” like I’m gonna kill myself after what happened to Jimmy. Sure it’s rough, but what do you expect when your best friend dies because he wasn’t watching the road, but looking at a text on his phone. I was in the car with him you know… I could’ve stopped him. I knew not to text and drive, or even look down to grab my phone while I’m on the road. Jimmy wasn’t that kind of guy. Captain of the football team, future valedictorian, the man thought he was invincible. Everyone thought so. One girl gave him her number before even speaking a word to him. That’s probably who had texted him when he was driving. We talked about how hot she was for about a week. One day, we decided to go to this club about five miles from campus. It was almost midnight, and I told him it was too late to drive to the club. He didn’t care. Mr. Untouchable. One second of a peek at the phone left him swerving in the lane of a semi-truck. I was too busy trying to show interest in whatever Jimmy was looking at. I thought what he thought was cool, was cool. I didn’t pay attention. I could’ve warned him. I could’ve stopped him, but I didn’t! I didn’t stop him! I’m sorry Jimmy! I’m so sorry!… You wanna know how I feel Mr. Psychiatrist? I feel like it’s my fault. I knew better, but I wanted to fit in. Jimmy was my ticket, and now he’s gone. It’s all my fault. Next time, I’m throwing the driver’s phone out the window.