My Final Goodbye
My Final Goodbye I always thought it was no big deal. A quick check of a text, The urge to switch the song off of repeat, Wanting to talk to my friends while driving, Or fighting my conscious to agree with a relatable post. I always told myself that I was a great driver. I’d never gotten pulled over, Even though I constantly was on my phone, Or driving my friends illegally. I sped down the narrow roads, Trying to feel the thrill of recklessness, Not having a care in the world for anything but myself. Then there was the night of the first accident. Speeding down hill in a busy part of town, With an important passenger in the car. I had driven illegally with him before, It shouldn’t be an issue. There will not be any issues. A new text notification appeared. I looked down at my now lit up screen, And in the next second, My head hit the back of the seat. My hands were glued to the steering wheel. I couldn’t find words, I couldn’t find air. I was in shock, Adrenaline was running through my veins, Up and down my body. I didn’t feel pain. Reality hit me like a brick, And I didn’t realize how much trouble I got myself into. I promised the officer it was an accident. After the warning ticket, it never happened for awhile. I was careful on the roads, But not careful enough. I still opened the messages, Still made phone calls, Still changed the songs. It had seemed that I had not learned my lesson, But the time would soon come. It was an awful day. Rain poured down from the clouds, Negative thoughts swarmed my hypothalamus. I had just gotten fired from my job. Rumors had been going around school. My parents were going to custody court. I needed closure. I needed a breath of fresh air. I left the parking lot, And sped down the road at 75mph. The windows were rolled down, The music was at maximum volume. The cold wind blew against my face, And I grabbed my cell phone to take a video. What could it hurt? What could it hurt. The airbags never went off. I was covered in glass, My scalp stained with crimson blood. My vision was blurred, And my vocal cords shattered. My ears could no longer hear, And my hands could no longer move. Life was slowly draining out of my body, And I couldn’t stop it from happening. Time seemed to stop in that moment. Everything was in a haze. I put this upon myself. I could have stopped, But I chose to keep moving forward. I laid in a hospital bed for a week. Not able to communicate, Not able to live my life. The other car I hit was a family of four. I was a murderer of two six year old twins and a happily married couple. I had killed someone. I had committed murder. Guilt strung over me, As I had ruined the lives of many individuals that night. My family never came to see me off, Never came to say goodbye to their daughter. My last hope was to be forgiven. But soon enough, Death engulfed my entire body, My mind, My soul. At seventeen years, I lost my only chance at life. All because I couldn’t contain my addiction: All because I couldn’t put the phone down. Save a life, Save yourself. Don’t give into temptation, Don’t pick up the phone. One second can change your life, Can change another’s.